There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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