i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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