He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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