ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
