girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
