it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
