Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You are a genius and a whore.
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