Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
