just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
