There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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