Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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