Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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