Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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