her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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