So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
