you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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