i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
