we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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