She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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