Ambien. No doubt about it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
