I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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