She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
