If i come over, it means nothing
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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