I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We need to get me chipped asap
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize