hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
