you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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