I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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