This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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