one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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