I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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