im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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