And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
