see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize