Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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