Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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