Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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