We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
