I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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