I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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