I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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