I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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