i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
