Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
