They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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