I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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