Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
