and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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