im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
