You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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