she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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