he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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