i permit you to call me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
