no, he came in my armpit
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
the raccoons are back...
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