and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
