he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
