Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
They took my balls.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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