cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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