you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
